Simply put: F*** Twilight.

I was told by a total of 5 people at the mall today that I look like Kristen Stewart's character, Bella, from fucking Twilight. I would personally like to say to those 5 people, go to hell. The only things that make me angrier than Twilight and its fanatics are Zach Efron and his highlights.

Bella from Twilight

.. and so not.

This craze couldn't possibly end soon enough.

Tofu Scramble and a Moment of Weakness

Chocolate weakness, that is. This was intended to be the chocolate chip cookie recipe from VWaV plus oats and walnuts. But, I was daydreaming, as I often do, and my EB wasn't the right temperature. This led to the texture's demise. The cookie dough wouldn't form into little balls to press out, so I threw it all into a baking dish and patted it out evenly. A little crumby,
but good.

So, my current favorite food blog is It Ain't Meat Babe. I really enjoy reading up on this little lady's food encounters. Her New Year's paella will be gracing my kitchen very soon. Anywho, I tried out her signature recipe for a vegan classic, tofu scramble. Um, awesome? I think it was the paprika that did it for me.

Served on a warm pita. Noms!

Golabki and Dave Foley

I don't know why I was so intrigued with the concept of cabbage rolls, but I decided I had to make them today before I went to work. I'm a pretty big sucker for cooked cabbage. Weird? Not really, considering it's pretty much the only thing I can eat at work, given that I work in the mall. Everyday, it's steamed white rice and vegetables which consist of broccoli, carrots, and cabbage.
Now, take the time to enjoy the golabki montage. Also, note the filthiness that is my kitchen. Filthiness is totally a word:



Also, take time to say hello to my cooking pal, Bronson:

Cutest cat ever? Probably.

And, now, RANT: I have a complete and total love/hate relationship with Netflix. I only really love Netflix because of the instant queue thing for my 360. Here's what they do: they make the first season of every show, sometimes the second season, as well, available on your instant queue so that you can watch it compulsively on the rare days that you don't have class or work, the days where your agenda consists of cuddling with kitties and making cookies. Well, I rushed through the first two seasons of News Radio and I'm having Dave Foley withdrawls, damn it! I have a bit of a nerd crush on Dave Foley. I'm not sexually aroused by Dave Foley, I just love to watch him. Slightly more creepy? Point being: F U Netflix. You are forever the bane of my existence, while at the same time, the love of my life.

Come back to me, Foley! :(

I'd love to rant more, but I have a bus to catch.

Breaded Seitan Cutlets with Sauteed Asparagus

These cutlets tasted like the ones Dave and I had at Blossom. They were good, but I'll admit I should have let them cool longer. It would have had a better texture. This was my first time cooking asparagus and I was pretty thrilled with it. I sauteed it in EVOO and some minced garlic. Topped with sesame seeds and nom nom nom.

Grains and Grains

I would like to apologize for my lack of post. I haven't been doing much cooking because typically by dinner time, Dave and I are beat. We'll usually either just skip dinner or eat the vegan equivalent of a Shake 'n Bake dinner, i.e. some breast of tofu with a random vegetable. The other day I managed to get to the store and spend nearly $100 on fargin' food. (It would have cost more, but my mother's a saint and donated $50.) I bought tons of fresh fruits and vegetables and plan to cook something up tonight. But, until then settle for these cooking endeavors:

South Western Stir Fry

This meal was like, "Hey, what do we have that's about to expire? Oh, we actually have a red bell pepper, too?" I guess this technically constitutes as a stir fry seeing as how it was served over brown rice. It consisted of tofu, potatoes, chickpeas, black beans, corn, and of course the red bell pepper. So much protein. I threw a bit of tomato paste in there to make it creamy and stick.

Simple Sassy Soda Bread

Dave and I have decided that we're going to start making our own bread from now on. We haven't purchased bread in nearly a month. I used the recipe for this in one of Kramer's books, either How It All Vegan or La Vegan Dolce. Too lazy to skim through recipes to find it again. But, this was really awesome. I subbed a cup of all purpose flour for wheat, which no doubt contributed to its texture. I have a really bad habit of doing that, deviating and such. But what the hell, right? If something is just as sweet with 1/4 cup less sugar, then why not? Take it out. Your semi health conscious, right? You're not fargin' Paula Dean, or something.

Vegan Cupcakes Take Over My Apartment

For the past week and a half, I've been going into Borders on my ten minute breaks to scan through Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World! Well, I finally bit the bullet and bought it. My first cupcakes were the cookies 'n cream ones. Nothing healthy about 'em. I know the picture isn't that great, but I really wanted to hurry and get the shot so I could eat the cupcake.

Home Cooked Meals

This certainly has been a week of experiment. First, I would like to introduce you to my kitty guest:

Jax a.k.a. Jasper

Apparently, I'm my family's go-to gal for pet-sitting. This is my sister's cat baby, and quite frankly, he's not too nice. He's been at my apartment for about three days, and he only started cuddling with us today. What has my sister done to desensitize a cat in such a way? My theory was the stupid collar she forces him to wear. It's blue with a dangling jingle bell intended to alert you of when the kitty is near. I took it off and hid it from him today, and he has been much more pleasant since.

And, now- the food. I discovered Everyday Dish TV this week and it has been life changing. Not only are the recipes simple, recorded, and scrumptious, but I catch myself wishing that Julie Hasson was my mother when I was a youth.

"Breast of Tofu"

Hey, Bryana Clark Grogan, you're a friggin' goddess. After countless unsatisfying attempts at tofu preparation, I'm finally hooked! This is seriously the perfect food for me. It's easy and great for work nights when I get home some time around 11 p.m. I just set tofu strips to marinade right before I leave, coat it in the recommended flour mixture, fry it, and BAM! Dinner is served. The marinade and flour mixture keep refrigerated for up to a week. It's basically a poultry seasoned marinade. I served it with some roasted rosemary potatoes.

the final product.

Another Everyday Dish TV dinner? You got it. I haven't tried vegan ribz since last summer. I used tempeh and baked it in a coating of bbq sauce. BLAND!

This stuff, though. Sooooo nom. You really have to watch both the amount of olive oil you use and the progress of the side that is frying otherwise, well, you'll get a burned set of ribz. Like mine. Even a little crispy, they were still righteous and totally hit the spot. Along with homemade mashed potatoes and sweet corn.

nutty, smokey, tender, and chewey.

And, to finish the night off right, Red Bull Berry Smoothies. I miss you, Raw Times. :( Now, I have to do this myself.

Classic Blueberry Scones

In case you haven't looked at my blog in, oh, a month or so, you might not have realized that I discovered the joys of baking. To fully convey my intense love for baking I've acquired, I'm pretty much looking for any excuse to have a bake sale at this point. I've even been taking orders at work from my associates of what to whip up next. I'm simply hooked.

Anyway. this morning, I was hungry. Reeeeeaaaaaal hungry. I had no cereal for a quick breakfast fix and no maple syrup for a heaping pile of pancakes. With my cupboards bare and my tummy growling, I decided to whip these bad boys up. Simple, sweet, and tasty.

Brooklyn Pad Thai

I used the recipe from VWAV. Nom Nom Nom. I deviated from the recipe a whole lot, mainly because I didn't have a lot of the ingredients it called for. I didn't add lime juice, added sesame seeds, no red onions, etc. Again, nom nom nom. I was only cooking for two so I had to cut everything in half. In doing so, I eliminated about a 1/2 tbs. of the sugar. Still retardedly sweet. Place a bowl of this in my hands, set me up with a creeptastic 80's horror movie movie starring Joe Spinell, and I'm set!

Diets Schmiets!

Gimme something ooey, gooey, and good. I figured every happy home needs at least one good cookie recipe and randomly decided to make some chocolate chip cookies today. (Also, I made cookies because I am completely out of food and these are the only things I happened to have all of the needed ingredients to. Someone take me grocery shopping!)

I'm so glad this recipe worked. It's seriously been quite the task trying to perfect some cookies. The recipe I usually use is the How it all Vegan one, but sadly, it sucks. The cookies come out really dry and crumbly, not ooey and gooey! I deserve more, damn it!

Also, making these cookies reminded me of this wounderful product of pop culture and YouTube:

SNACK ATTACK!